Men’s groups in retirement communities can offer more than just a way to pass the time; they can foster connections with shared stories, common interests, and laughter.

Finding men to connect with, however, can be a challenge.

“We want to be with men,” jokes Fairwood Retirement Village resident Chuck Young. “We are outnumbered by about 6-to-1. I love being with them, but I don’t want to go with a group of women and talk about social things.”

According to Fairwood's director of marketing Sheila Fritts, the numbers are closer to a 3-to-1 ratio.

"Fairwood has 198 residents, including 143 women and 55 men. There is a total of 44 couples," she says. “And most men over 80, or over 85, don’t want to hang around with a group of 30 ladies."

Young is among a group of residents at Fairwood, located at 312 W. Hastings Road just north of Spokane, that participate in a variety of men’s groups, including Men’s Legacy Group, Men’s Breakfast, a pool league, and bible study.

Young and his wife, Nancy, started planning the transition from home ownership to assisted living in 2020 when Nancy was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease. They were looking for a safe community for Nancy where they could bring in outside care and a place to socially connect and find support from others. 

“She was starting to deteriorate,” Young says. “I needed a place where I knew we could be safe."

The social connection and activities tailored for both men and women were a draw for the Youngs and are an important health benefit to the residents at Fairwood, says marketing director Sheila Fritts.

“Men’s groups, no matter how structured or unstructured, are a major part of that community and support group,” Fritts adds. “Research shows that anybody with greater social connections has longer independence and increased longevity in general.”

Fairwood, locally owned by Fairwood Retirement Services LLC, also offers a large variety of activities for both men and women, including mahjong, bingo, cribbage, a family history and writing class, bridge, and a ‘Good Old Days’ social gathering. 

However, Fritts says they are finding more and more that men want separate activities, and they accommodate those requests.

Roger Long, a two-year resident at Fairwood, coordinates and facilitates activities for the men’s groups.

Long, a former English teacher, Whitworth administrator, author, and amateur roller-skater, says he asks the other male residents what kind of activities they would like to do.

“We have a range of people here,” he says. “We have doctors, attorneys, carpenters, and barbers with a whole range of interests.”

The Men’s Legacy group meets once a month to plan outings. The group has toured the Deer Park Airport with firefighters, Buck Knives and Cabella’s in Post Falls, and a private collection of British classic cars in North Spokane, to name a few.

Aside from planning outings, it’s also a time to connect, says resident Terry Baughman.

“One month, we were asked to come and tell something about your life that made an immediate change to you,” he says. “Every guy in the room shared something.”

The Men’s Breakfast group meets once a month and features a rotating speaker. Past speakers include an FBI agent, seminars on how to live to be 100, a banker discussing the economy, a sportscaster, and Kip Silver from Spokane-based Able Cleanup Technologies Inc. This week's speaker is a Washington state ferry oiler. 

The breakfast is the most popular event and has 25-30 male participants. Not only is it informative, Long says, but it’s also a great time to connect socially.

The pool league and bible study meet weekly. 

Baughman’s scoliosis limits his participation in activities. However, he makes it a top priority to remain social and active for his health and longevity, he says.

“The socialization is so important,” he says. “But that’s only one third.”

He says the other parts are the excellent food and the exercise. “Unless you are a hermit, you have to walk to the dining hall. You get exercise every day,” he says. “And if you add this three-legged stool together, it makes people live to be 89 instead of 79.”

Larry Salzbrun, a former engineer, splits his time between the men's groups, Catholic Charities, groups outside the facility, and woodshop.

"I've been fixing a lot of things for people," says Salzbrun. "I really enjoy that." 

The residents also appreciate the longevity of the staff, which includes over 100 employees.

Some employees have worked for Fairwood for close to 37 years, Fritts says.

Located on 18 acres of land, the 165-unit independent-living complex includes one-to-three-bedroom units ranging between 629 and 2,303 square feet.

Fairwood is a life-lease property at which individuals purchase the right to occupy a unit for the rest of their lives. Those who purchase a life lease receive a 65% refund of the original purchase amount once the home is vacated, or the unit is resold, says Fritts.

Initial buy-in fees range between $151,000 to $521,000, with a monthly fee ranging between $1,570 to $3,397. Fees, depending on the plan purchased, include utilities, restaurant-style dining, heated pool and jacuzzi, activities, transportation services, and more.

The Fairwood community also includes a 30-unit assisted-living facility and 49 memory care rooms operated separately by Fairwood Northridge LLC.